The Gray Man

Got a win!

nsbound — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 04:46:22 +0000

After quite a bit of time, I finally got my win.

There have been a lot of ups and downs in the first 200 posts on this blog. I am definitely on an upswing these days. All the irons in the fire have started to become smoking hot.

Feast or famine is the way of things. I am glad I am feasting right now.

This blog is normally cryptic and probably seem down. But being positive is part of my life as well. It is nice to be positive in all aspects of my life.

Middle of the night, can’t sleep

nsbound — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 07:31:56 +0000

Well, another crappy phase of life going on right now. I believe that life has ups and downs. Unfortunately, I am going through a down that has lasted for quite a while and I can’t seem to get out of it.

Got the “let’s be friends” conversation today. After everything I did and the promises that were made, I get dumped. Would love to know how people meet partners, rather than people who just want something from you.
If someone isn’t interested, why do I seem to find them? I guess that is my super power these days. Man, I am waiting for something good to become more of a regular thing in my life…

Back again

nsbound — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:42:09 +0000

After spending the summer in the sun, I am back at my desk getting ready for the future. I learned a ton this year and got to practice on the water in so many ways.

Getting the boat in the water was a huge step forward. Getting dragged behind the other boat was fun some of the time as well.

Now, what’s next? Good question, and I am looking forward to finding out.

A shift of gears

nsbound — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 08:04:55 +0000

I am almost back to solid food. Never thought that I would write that sentence but there it is.

After this long with a throat that feels like a flamethrower hit it, I can swallow again without too much pain.

I am looking forward to a nice steak or some ribs when I can eat without pain.

Now if I could get some other things on the straight and narrow, I would have more hope for the future.

Self inflicted sore throat

nsbound — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 19:57:42 +0000

After years of putting it off, I finally decided to deal with the uvula and flap of skin that has been an issue for as long as I can recall.

I thought the laser would neatly make cuts and things would be tidy. Apparently, I was completely incorrect. I feel like a flamethrower was used to bbq things in there.

I now have a week of soft food and I am already tired of that. I like chewing and feeling full.

Drinking water and swallowing hurts like crazy but I knew that was going to happen. So I am just building character to get through this and tackle the challenges I will be facing in the future.

Finally made it to my 200th post

nsbound — Wed, 18 May 2011 02:15:26 +0000

I think I have started to feel that I am not a typical blogger.

When I started, people blogged a couple of times and then stopped. Somehow, I have managed a couple of years and now 200 blog posts.

I do not use this space as many people seem to use their blog space.

I prefer to use it as a diary of sorts to give snippets of my life and let me rant when I feel like it without anyone knowing intimate details of my life.

The changing of the seasons and the duration of the blog have taken me to many places and events in my life. I wonder if the next 200 posts will see me in as many adventures and life situations as the last 200.

Interesting experience

nsbound — Fri, 06 May 2011 05:39:41 +0000

Today I had the experience of having a wili wili form on me.

It was weird to have one form one while I was headed home.

I realized that it was a rescue helicopter flying really low over my head.

Having a new positive experience is a wonderful thing these days. It was a win and that is good.

Found some stuff

nsbound — Wed, 04 May 2011 07:46:44 +0000

After working towards one goal, I have discovered a few more to help along the way.

I have 2 new stepping stones that will help me for a while.

It definitely gives me something to do while I move in the direction I want to head. Trying to sort out my other stuff while this is going on.

What is that quote, “I like in the woods. It’s the only place I can see the path.” I know I butchered the quote from my favourite captain, but I lend my copy out ages ago and have not gotten it back yet. I think it is a lost cause.

Hitting a wall

nsbound — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 06:34:39 +0000

After a low weekend learning things I did not want to learn, this week has been better.

I am sleeping too much but that might be from lack of positive stress. I think I need more external stimuli to keep the juices flowing.

Had a great chat with a new friend last night. It is weird to go through the getting to know you stuff yet again.

If I could break through the new work learning curve, I would be hunky dory.

Now I just need to find an influx of money and I will be myself sorted like I have wanted for quite some time.

Important decision ahead

nsbound — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 08:13:49 +0000

I am having a very tough time with information I asked for this evening. I don’t know if I can do what I need to do to get what I might want.

I am definitely not desperate enough to throw away my beliefs for a job.

A friend offered to help me improve my resume and offered me advice to make it better. But the things I would have to write and present leave me cold. The advice involved just say things a certain way to please the HR people. However, the things I would have to say and the way I would have to say them turns my stomach. I don’t think I can dumb things down that way and not be condescending at the same time.

Further, just taking anything and making looking for work a hobby would amputate part of my soul. My buddy seems to have the ability to do a job and to not care about the work.

I do not have the ability to do a half assed job and not care. I would rather move to the end of the earth and care about what I am doing.

I feel that to get past hr, I have to pretend that I am at their competence level. But I have zero use for hr personnel because I have never met one that was both competent and a decent person.

Hopefully, this will sort itself out and I will not have to compromise the person I am and want to continue to be.